❤️Community Building ❤️

Just because we can do things at the speed of light doesn't mean we should.

I remember starting out in life, basically on my own at 19 and trying to figure out things. Whilst I had some loose visions of where I was heading, I really didn't have a clue.  My grand visions also quickly disappeared as I began to understand reality of life.

Life, it seems, becomes what it is from lots of small decisions.

I often say I'm lucky for what I have, but really I think I've just taken things slowly, one step at a time. Evaluating things as I go, changing my mind as I see fit.

I often failed, but perhaps overall succeeding more than failing.

Seeing a better future, striving for improvement, but not setting myself very specific goals.  Taking each day as it comes and being happy for surviving each one. Thinking through each situation and making a decision when I'm ready to.

But this is not the way the world paints itself.

"We must move fast!"

"It's now or never!"

Just because we can now do things instantly, it doesn't mean we should.

It's taken me a long time to be ok with this.  But the more I think about it, the more I believe people should take a bloody chill pill. Most decisions don't need to be made on the spot.  Even just waiting an hour, a day, a week...whatever...can make such a difference to the impact of that decision.

Now I could go on and research that science probably backs me up, but the response I got from Twitter plus my own personal experiences is enough for me.  

For years I would give myself a hard time for not coming up with quick answers. Or for letting others lead with rash decisions. Or for coming up with quick answers to only then regret it later.  People would want answers 'now' and that would freak me out.

Overall I dislike conversations or meetings that put me on the spot.  I'm quite happy now to say "I don't know" or  "I need time to think about it".  I don't lack the confidence with that anymore.

I'm also generally much better at one on one conversations, usually I struggle to participate in group conversations.

This is me, I design my life around who I am and I'm ok with it.  And I now when I look back, I think most of my decisions have involved slow and reflective decisions, often changing my mind at various points of the path.

I feel that even just opening up this conversation here and on Twitter has helped others see and identify with the same thing.  By recognising it we can become better at dealing with it.

There are all sorts of situations in life where people are judged and assessed on the spot (the most obvious one that springs to mind are 'job interviews').  I think it is crazy to test and make judgements like this on the spot and with such little information.